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Being
a parent is the most difficult job in the world. Raising
a child to be a responsible citizen is a huge undertaking.
It begins when children are very small, the terrible
two's for example, and continues throughout the "terrible
teenage" years and sometimes into adulthood. Dealing
with "normal" difficult behavior stages is
hard enough. Trying to handle atypical behavior from
children is infinitely more challenging.
The
content for this section of the website is selected
by parents and educators to ensure that the information
provided is meaningful and helpful. It is intended to
provide parents with information and resources about
managing behavior in general. Additionally, there are
tips on dealing with behavior in the school settings.
Also included are ideas for working with school personnel
and information about what to expect from the educational
system.
There
is a list of resources, support organizations, and upcoming
events that will be updated regularly. We welcome your
suggestions.
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1) Behavior can be positive or negative.
2) Behavior serves 2 functions: to gain something or
to avoid something. Try to figure out if the child is
exhibiting a behavior to try to avoid something or to
gain something.
EXAMPLES:
NEGATIVE BEHAVIOR TO GAIN SOMETHING:
Sasha really wants to be popular at her high school.
She has friends, but they would not be considered to
be the "in" group. There are three girls that
live in her neighborhood that are "popular".
Sasha determines that the reason they are "popular"
with the kids at school is because they wear designer
clothes and give their friends expensive gifts. Sasha
is too young to have a job and although her parents
have plenty of money, they don't believe that people
need to spend exorbitant amounts of money on designer
clothes. They also believe that the greatest gift you
can give a person is your time and true friendship.
Sasha doesn't agree with that right now. She decides
that the only way to be popular is to have the clothes
and give expensive gifts. First she steals some money
from her mother to buy gifts with. A few weeks later
she starts shoplifting designer clothes. By doing this
she is attempting to GAIN popularity.
NEGATIVE BEHAVIOR TO AVOID SOMETHING:
For example, Todd is in 5th grade but only reads at
about a 3rd grade level. On occasion he has been made
fun of when he has tried to read out loud. On the day
that he is supposed to read his book report out loud
to the class he refuses to get dressed for school. He
throws a fit and insists that he won't get out of bed
despite the threat of losing his computer privileges
if he doesn't go to school. In Todd's mind, having to
take the chance he will be publicly ridiculed is much
more punishing than losing his computer privileges.
He continues to refuse to get ready for school. By doing
this he trying to AVOID the horribly unpleasant situation
at school.
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